One Family Journal

Bringing Family Memories Together

Love Your Children: Rule Number 1

Dear Parents,

Don't make the mistakes that many parents made. You can never go back and make the changes or correct the mistakes.  It's detrimental to their future and to yours. 

Your children's well being now and later, as they grow, highly depends on  your actions on them today. Your words, your choices of words, your doings, your choices of things doing to them and on them, affect them and your relationship with them crucially in the present times and in the future. 

I'm speaking from my own personally experience, as one who was a child growing up with a mother that can never go back and correct her wrong doings to me and her children, and as a mother who thought she was perfect and realized, not good enough, now that my children are grown up. 

And as a grand mother, watching how each one of my children and the children that I've raised are taken care of their child. It's heart warming to see their great jobs, and it is frighten to see their mistakes.  Do you say something to them so they don't make the same mistakes that many parents that you recognized that they are making, but they don't see it, or do you not say anything at all?  I choose to speak up, but gently and wisely.  Sometimes, it feels like I'm walking of thin egg shells, but have to speak up creatively and so the next generation can have a better live then mine growing up.

Rule number 1, love your chiildren.  If you love them so dearly with so much compassion, and with so much understanding of them in your heart, chances are, you will be able to eliminate many of the mistakes that many parents made, or making as of now.

No one is perfect, and don't even try.  That is the number 1 mistakes parents make is to be a perfect pareant, so they can have a perfect child.  That can never happen, because, no one is perfect.  And if you try to make a perfect child, you'll stress that poor kid out and yourself and all those around you and that child to a mess, one way or another.  Yes, that perfect child that you tried to create might make it to the the society perfectly, but deep inside, you will have a very imperfect being growing up and grown up.  It either affect them miserably or affect those around them miserably.

Not saying you should not try to raise a child as perfect as possible, but just don't push to the limit to try to reach a perfection.  Because, if you do, you are then a very selfish parent thinks only for yourself and what you want to do on the child and not thinking what is truly the best for the child.

Allow small mistakes.  No, not big mistakes, but small littles ones every now and then.  Allow them to think and be able to solve small problems.  Our little brains will wire themselves to do what is best. 

Point A to point B, there are always many ways to get there from A to B, help them to get there, not force them your way or the highway.  It is miserrable and horrible to force someone to do something they don't want just so you can have your way, even when you know your way is wrong.  That is a big no no rule number 1. 

Love your children more than you love yourself. If you love, you think.  If you have something that you want them to do but have several options, you lay it down in your head or on paper if you wish. Which one is the best possible choice?  Think. Don't force it. If the child says no, think. Why is the child saying no?  Think, "What other ways I may get the child to do what I want without forcing them?"  Because we know what is best for them, I don't mean in a selfish way, but with true love and passion from our heart. chances are, you'll make a better choice for them and for both of you.

I'm not saying don't ever get your children to do what you want, you are in charge and they have to see authority and learn to follow authority.  I'm just saying, work with them.  If your way is truly the best way, then talk to them, explain to them. Let them know where you're coming from.  If they still rebel, work with them and find ways to get them do what you know is best for them.

It sounds like two different subject in one, and yes, it is.  It is not easy to raise a child.  No one ever say it is easy. But the fact that you try to be the best possible parent raising a happy child, you're planting a great future for our world for generations to come.  It all depends on what we do today as a parent to our children. 

Our children are our future.  And your future depends on what you do today with your children.